Where My Heart Belongs
by obi's girl
Summary: I think you all know the summary by now, well, the fic anyway.


Where My Heart Belongs  
By obi's girl 

Summary: Separately - Obi & Ami think about what they mean to each other and the growing love between them; Obi is on Coruscant and Ami on Naboo.  
Rating: PG-13 Romance  
Disclaimer: The characters of Obi-Wan Kenobi and Queen Amidala don't belong to me but the almighty - George Lucas. The idea for this story is like Sleepless in Seattle - except in space. The poem "Where My Heart Belongs" is my original work.

Note: I think when I wrote this, I pictured Obi-Wan and Padmé singing this to each other, even though they were galaxies apart. You can also read the poem itself under Poetry.

Obi-Wan's P.o.V "Where My Heart Belongs"

Our lives aren't what we know  
Fate has already been spun  
Yours and mine  
you with Anakin And I...

I don't know  
Only the Force

The Jedi walked onto the balcony as the sun set. He and his Padawan recently arrived from a mission. Obi-Wan had been in with the Jedi Council for about four hours and he was tired. When they reached the Temple, Obi-Wan immediately relieved Anakin - telling him he could return to their quarters to rest. Anakin, a nineteen-year-old, had a lot of energy but the mission they were on was very tiring. Everywhere they went, the Jedi were either yelled at or patronized by a mob or had their ship hijacked. Speaking to the Council about the events of the mission was an annoyance to Obi-Wan. He had patience before (when Qui-Gon was alive) but now he was the Master, he was beginning to lose it.

In the past, he never had to worry about love. His life was dedicated to the Jedi and to his Master, Qui-Gon Jinn. His studies and training never prepared him for falling in love with someone who couldn't love him back. In the Jedi Code, there is no emotion, only peace. He recited that line in his head several times, a constant reminder what he felt could never be.

"Where My Heart Belongs" Cont. Obi-Wan's P.o.V

My love,  
Your willingness  
Smashed us together  
I sit here and cry,  
Praying for the future  
And  
What might never be

But I still love you  
Fate is a tangle  
I cannot stop  
The Sands of Time

I love you,  
My sweet handmaiden  
I just wish...

He stretched his aching arms, reaching out for an unknown vision - the vision of the woman he loved, Queen Amidala.

Over the past few years, his friendship and admiration of her turned into something greater and almost deadly. He fell in love with her - the woman his Padawan loved since he was nine. His heart belonged to her regardless of Anakin's attachment to her. Amidala was who she was - a simple woman, almost.

First, she was the elected Queen of Naboo, lived life as the handmaiden Padmé Naberrie to escape politics, and then she ran for the Senate - a position she filled with great pride. But because of her Senate responsibilities, it rarely allowed her to leave Senate building to see either Anakin or himself. And because of that, she resigned and moved back to Naboo. If she couldn't have a private life without having to deal with power-hungry senators than she wouldn't be one either.

However, before leaving she made an appointment to see him at the Temple. She didn't call - just showed up and hugged him caringly. Anakin was in class, so they were alone for the afternoon.

They walked in the gardens, in and around the Temple for hours. He didn't even realize it was dark until she pointed it out to him and that Anakin was probably home. Obi-Wan hesitated a moment before answering. Anakin. He was like a son to him for so long and being with this woman, talking with her - he began to feel something deeper for her than he ever felt before. He stared at her. Amidala froze as he watched her.

It was getting cold. She pulled her robe closer around her waist but Obi-Wan scooted over, offering his. She took it graciously, placing it over her shoulders. Amidala pushed back her flowing hair, finally placing it on her left shoulder. The stare continued for a while until Obi-Wan tipped her chin, kissing her lightly on the lips.

Amidala pulled back, unsure how to act. Her heart belonged to Anakin but Obi-Wan was something different. She stood up, giving him back his robe, curtsied and disappeared without say a word. Tears filled his eyes - tears of regret and of a love that could never be.

That was about eight months ago, but even so it felt like an eternity. He loved Amidala and being with her, even just talking to her, made him uneasy. He knew it was a mistake to kiss her but how could he resist? Amidala wasn't fourteen year-old anymore. She was a grown woman, a blossomed flower, he was just beginning to recognize.

Now, he gazed again at the sun. It was the end of another day and Obi-Wan peered at the sky, searching for the star Amidala belonged to.

Amidala P.o.V

After hearing "the daily schedule" from Captain Panaka, Amidala dismissed all her handmaidens - an action the Captain would have frowned against but she warned them not to tell him about it. The girls' nodded their heads obediently and left her highness alone.

Yes, after the people of Naboo heard she resigned they immediately dropped the older monarch and reelected her as their leader. Amidala hesitated at first to accept the honor but after prompting from Palpatine and her former handmaiden's urging her to come back - she accepted.

Her coronation went on without a problem, except seeing Obi-Wan with Anakin. She tried not to show it but after the kiss they shared on Coruscant in the gardens, it was hard to ignore what her real feelings for him were. In that kiss, in that one moment, she felt alive. Though she couldn't read his mind, his kiss spoke volumes about the way he felt about her. And Anakin. He was pleased to see her again and as Queen. He was so happy he hardly even noticed something bother her but Obi-Wan did.

It was only a Coronation but to her, it almost felt like she was getting married. She was no longer allowed to feel. She couldn't look at him. If she did, she feared she might break down and cry on the spot because she couldn't take the guilt.

Amidala loved Anakin or did she? She loved Obi-Wan too. The kiss. It stirred up old feelings, old feelings she thought were dead. Obi-Wan had always been special to her. In her youth, she had the biggest crush on him - a crush that turned into love over night. She stepped up to the alter. The royal priest began to coronation, going through a long speech about reigning properly, thinking about the people and leading with the utmost certainty and statute. It was enough to draw her emotions elsewhere - to Obi-Wan's heart.

From the minute she appeared at his apartment, her world swirled from one of total bliss with Anakin to second-guessing her loyalties. Truth was, she wanted to stay and kiss him some more but was scared to. Obi-Wan was sweet, caring, and truthful - all the things she always wanted except being Anakin's Master. That's what scared her off - her fear Anakin would find out about the kiss and leave Obi-Wan and maybe her.

Amidala opened her eyes, remembering the day. Her eyes fluttered, thinking of the event. Afterwards, she was able to speak with Obi-Wan but only briefly. They talked by the water fountain, away from the guests and away from Anakin. It was quiet at first. They didn't know what to say to each other. Finally, Obi-Wan spoke.

He smiled at her, "Amidala, I'm sorry about what happened between us on Coruscant. I shouldn't have tried to kiss you. I'm sorry. I know I went over the line..." before he could say more, Amidala pressed her lips against his. Obi-Wan took the embrace, kissing her back with equal force.

Obi-Wan drew back a bit, brushing her bangs away. Her lips were numb. He smiled, caressing her cheek finally whispering what he had been dying to tell her for so long, "I love you,"

Amidala shook her head, remembering his words. He was so sweet. He loved her more than the universe and yet he couldn't. There were circumstances between them. 1) The most important - Anakin Skywalker. She was his Angel. After she met him in Watto's junk shop, her life was forever changed. But now she no longer had to worry about his feelings, but Obi-Wan's as well. Oh, but that kiss. No matter what happened, she couldn't let him go. She couldn't.

Her heart belonged to him though Anakin had deep feelings for her. Amidala composed herself as she felt a single tear form down her flushed cheeks. The droplet fell onto her desk. She wiped her face, trying to hold back the flow of tears. She fell onto her chair, crying immensely.

Obi-Wan's P.o.V

Obi-Wan dropped onto his couch after entering the apartment he shared with Anakin. The boy had been there earlier. He dropped a note on the counter saying he was with friends. He didn't see it or probably did but discarded it. After the Council gave him 'the okay' he left without a thought, heading straight for his quarters. He was exhausted. The Jedi closed his eyes, letting his mind wander off into space. He needed to relax. So much was going on. Obi-Wan reached far as far as Naboo and finding himself inside the Palace of Theed. His spirit wandered down the hallway, finally finding Amidala's quarters.

Her face was wet from tears, which were still coming. It pained him to see her in such turmoil. Suddenly dawned on him why she was crying. Her heart. Her heart was in pain the same way his was. He cried, trying to reach out. He didn't want her to feel the anguish and false hope of what could never be. He didn't want her to hurt. It was too much pain. She suddenly stood up, wiping away the last of her tears as if she felt he was there beside her. Obi-Wan frowned.

Obi-Wan's P.o.V "Where My Heart Belongs" Cont.

My sweet Queen, The handmaiden that stole my heart As much as I want you - Want to be with you I cannot And fear We may never be

Never be Our hearts belong to each other But it must be kept secret I love you

My Heart belongs to you It belongs in your safe hands

I can never deny My feelings run deep But I must resist - We both have to

It's safe - Safe from harm and from each other

I love you I must deny - We must deny; We cannot, never be This lost soul is yours

The Queen gazed out the window, trying to hold back another round of hurtful tears. It worked. Her face-hardened, allowing her Queen facade to take over. Being Amidala made her stronger. Being Padmé, a simple handmaiden allowed her to be free but it also allowed her to be weak and a loss to her feelings. Obi-Wan nodded, slowly leaving her alone.

She paused,

Her thoughts ceased a moment, allowing bracing herself. "I love you,"

Amidala's P.o.V "Where My Heart Belongs" Cont.

How can I forget you?  
You're soft embrace  
I let you in without  
A thought  
and  
Now I must forget you  
Though I don't want to  
My heart will always,  
Always Belong to you

But regretfully,  
I must follow my fate  
It cannot be with you  
Anakin is mine

Obi-Wan's P.o.V

He sat alone, alone in the dark - safe from hurting. He drew back. Obi-Wan couldn't stand to see her hurt, so he left. He withdrew himself from feeling her. It was the only thing he could do to stop feeling the agony of a silent defeat.

Amidala's P.o.V.

I sit here and cry,  
Praying for the future  
And  
What might never be?  
I can't stop this feeling  
I love you

"Where My Heart Belongs" Cont.

The Force brought us together I see that now  
I don't wish to lose him,  
Nor you  
But your love,  
My willingness  
Smashed us together

Obi-Wan's P.o.V

He paused, reading his hands,

Obi-Wan & Amidala P.o.V "Where My Heart Belongs" Cont.

We must be strong  
Ours lives are not our own  
But our Hearts are  
We must forget,  
But we must not forget  
What we mean to each other

I love you (Amidala)  
I love you, my Queen (Obi-Wan)

My Heart will always rest with you  
(Obi-Wan) I cannot forget  
(Amidala) Refuse to forget

Things will never be (Amidala)  
We cannot stop Time (Obi-Wan)

We must leave each other  
And  
Crawl back into our shells,  
Our desolate shells  
The shells that kept us from feeling  
For so long

Never be (Amidala)  
Never be (Obi-Wan)  
But I still love you,  
Always will (Obi-Wan)

We must separate ourselves  
It's the only way we can...

Forget

But I still love you (Amidala)  
I still love you (Obi-Wan)  
My sweet handmaiden (Obi-Wan)  
My Beloved Jedi Master (Amidala)

  
Back to Obidala Fanfiction Library 


End file.
